I AM

I am not so much afraid to die alone as I am afraid to die lonely.

I am not so much afraid to live alone as I am afraid to liive lonely.

I expect too much from others and give too little of myself, my true self.

I keep my fears and my fantasies securely locked and project what I
believe advances me; through illusion, control, and manipulation.

You don't see what I see for it or they are only mine to be seen.

You don't feel what I feel for what I feel is unique and only mine to feel.

I cannot escape, don't want to tolerate or learn to coexist with the demons
who surround me daily.

You don't hear what I hear for the sounds are only to be heard by me.

You don't know what I know for the answers are only mine to hold onto.

I love to dance, to laugh, and to sing, I feel the love all three bring and
keep it all to myself.

I share what I can just what will snare and bring me to some level of
comfort.

I stand out and above, but am never seen. I scream screeches that never
get heard. I speak what is true with all that I meet, yet no one hears my cry.

I succeed and fail, write volumes of mail then tear the letters to pieces;
you know me too well, You damn me to hell and criticize all of my creases

Oh well, what do I have to show but a crippled mien and ever increasing
lost pieces.      9/90